A glorious and glistening, snowy Thursday to you, my lovely reader,
in the course of this very week, I was suddenly seized by a moment of profound epiphany.
Deep within the guarded halls of the fortress of my mind, I have known that a certain, troublesome issue was alive and thriving, and yet, shamefully, I had permitted myself never to truly acknowledge the weight of the matter at hand.
Was this dismissal rooted in the sanctuary of my own comfort, or was it pure fear of confronting whalever else may lurk there, mingling with the very subject we are about to engage with?
We shall find out together!
Ah, the delicious anticipation!
‚What, precisely, is the matter of today’s discourse?‚ you may be wondering. ‚What has she summoned us for now?‚ I can hear your brilliant mind humming!
The slow rhythm of the thundering drums is now swelling into a crescendo, readying us for the moment the curtain must be drawn… Unless, you have tired of my fondness for dramatics and would prefer a simpler, more shocking revelation this time? Say, a sudden flashlight held to the face in utter darkness?
Enough of the delays! I shall waste no further moment of your precious time.
The true, unpolished, slightly embarassing revelation is this, my dear reader: much like my tendency for dramatic curtain-calls, I also had a tedious tendency toward complaint!
That is the simple, stubborn issue at hand – the bothersome ghost that has been residing in the deepest corners of my mind.
Yes yes, I assure you – you heard my confession quite correctly.
The person before you, the self-proclaimed Empress of her Realm of Becoming, residing in her metaphorical castle-apartment up on the hill, has been a continuously complaining, miserably unhappy creature!
While the castle serves as a suitable metaphor, the painful details that follow are entirely literal.
Quite frankly, I complained about everything, from the grand to the fractionally small – the trivial actions of the neighbours next door and above, and even the unpredictable, simple shifts in weather in the realm.
It mattered absolutely nothing whether the circumstances could be fixed or not, or whether some culprit was to blame, or if the cause was merely sheer bad luck. I swung my sceptre of displeasement regardless.
If anything ran counter to my expectation, or if the slightest inconvenience dared to present itself, the whole day was ruined.
My spirit would fall into a dark, bottomless abyss, awakening the mighty dragon that had made a rather nice, quite comfortable home there.
The simple, harsh reality is this: my constant displeasement transformed me into a unpleasant, critical and dissatisfied tyrant within my own sphere!
The realization came without the need for a dramatic ‚intervention‘ or a forced vow for change. The truth simply manifested itself rather effortless some days ago.
I recognized that I had consistently decicated far too much space in my mind for the negative. This negativity had become an infection, affecting every aspect of my being, and spreading through my body like a festering, venomous fungus.
It is therefore unsurprising that I had never truly been able to enjoy life, or to properly treasure the small gifts it offered. My heart, tragically, became a tight, unyielding fist, closed off from all joy.
I had dismissed the persistent quote ‚What you focus on expands‚ every time it crossed my path, yet I must confess I never properly considered its actual weight.
Now I know, with an undeniable certainty, that this statement is more than a pleasing thought: it is a profound and absolute truth. Whatever you fix your attention upon, it will inevitably expand.
Naturally, I began my own research on the subject, and was provided with the science behind it – the very act of contant complaining structurally reinforces negative neural pathways in the mind, effectively training the brain into becoming more efficient for generating unhappiness.
I assure you, my present reality feels nothing short of an entirely new life – with the old complaining self a distant ghost of the past.
My life and, consequently, my entire being have been dramatically reshaped over these recent months. I speak truth when I declare I have become an entirely different person!
We hear of personal ‚change‘ so many times, yet true transformation cannot be summoned by mere words. Instead, true change is a sensation that must be felt deep within the core, for that is precisely where transformation takes root.
I have touched on this exact subject before in ‚HUMBUG & HIGH STAKES‘.
Allow me to be perfectly clear: it is not my desire to spread toxic positivity!
I am painfully aware of the harsh truths of existence that can make one feel like the lead character in a poorly-written, deeply disturbing film.
My advice, therefore, is not to ignore the darkness, but also not to fuel it. Let the difficult emotions pass through, but refuse to add to it.
The era of endless negativity and complaint is officially over for this Empress.
Instead, I choose to focus on gratitude, and actively seek out the quiet joys I once ignored.
Life is meant to be lived fully, and to intentionally dim the light of your own beautiful self by focusing only on the bad is nothing short of a tragedy.
Therefore, I tell you once last time:
DITCH THE COMPLAINTS, AND FIND THINGS WORTH TREASURING!
Until next time,
the realm must be ruled.